I was thinking about how we choose a partner

Imagine you’re on a dating app.

Two profiles pop up (pick a camp):

Tom: “I’m 6’2″, love hiking, and have a great sense of humour.”

Emily: “I’m a yoga enthusiast, foodie, and passionate about sustainability.”

If finding a match worked the way some people (won’t name them, but you’ll know) think it does, you’d compare every detail—height, hobbies, interests.

Maybe you’d even make a spreadsheet.

On paper, one would emerge as the “logical” choice.

But that’s not how humans make decisions.

Even if the facts align perfectly, a little voice says, “Something doesn’t feel right.” It’s why you’ve probably walked away from someone who “looked good on paper.”

Because when it comes down to it, what we’re really looking for is resonance:

👉🏼 Who are they at their core?

👉🏼 Does who they are align with who I am?

👉🏼 Do I see myself in the world they’re inviting me into?

Now imagine Tom saying, “I’m funnier than Brian, taller than your ex, and objectively great at planning dates.”

Creepy, right? Even if you believe him, you won’t feel connected.

Trying too hard projects scarcity, and scarcity kills connection.

We don’t want “better.”

We want right.

Wait.

We’re talking about positioning.

Shocker, I know.

Most brands act like Tom, shouting about features and benefits:

“We’re faster.”

“We’re cheaper.”

“We’re better.”

And then they wonder why customers don’t connect.

People don’t choose based on spreadsheets or pro-con lists.

They choose based on who you are.

Volvo doesn’t compare crash test scores.

Volvo is safety.

Red Bull doesn’t market taste.

Red Bull is human potential.

Tesla doesn’t sell on battery range.

Tesla is the future of transport.

It’s not about being better—it’s about being the ONLY.

When brands—or people—try to prove their worth, they project scarcity.

They might get polite consideration, but they’ll never inspire loyalty.

People don’t want to settle for a logical choice.

They want to feel, “I didn’t have to choose this—I got to.”

The ones who win exude abundance.

They stand confidently in their identity, inviting others into a world that feels inevitable.

Stop shouting about why you’re better.

You’re trying too hard, and everyone can tell.

Start asking, “Who are we, and what do we make people feel?”

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about being better.

It’s about being YOU.

(Also, Mufasa says the same to Simba, “Remember who you are.”)

P.S.— I’m single.


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