Are you welcomed by calls from sales-representatives early in the morning, during a client meeting, when you’re out drinking with the boys, while having/making dinner, while negotiating that last bit of fudge on that overtly sundae, doing your homework, filling/evading taxes, baking cookies for your darn kids, strangling your wife (kidding about that last one, even though I’m sure most of you do) from Airtel Broadband?
Boy?! What a nuisance – simply because I already use 2 Airtel Broadband connections. Any how, I’ve devised an almost waggish riposte, yet sensible to your ego, to tackle these incessant calls (keeping it appropriate for all genres).
Here is a list of things to say when the male/female representative says the following:
“Sir, we would like to take 2 minutes of your time to talk about Airtel Broadband.”
**At this point, I can already picture how this conversation is going to go.
-“Yea, sure. Tell me (I have now stepped into the better part of my brian).”
“Do you use broadband on your home pc…?”
Now, here’s your chance to make the best of this conversation, only if your genuinely not interested in Airtel Broadband or you’re a sucker like me with 2 Airtel Broadband connections.
The List
1. Computer? What broadband? I am a farmer. Do you have something for Reena, my buffalo or my tractor? Maybe they can be connected to the internet… (And you can continue to blabber) Reena hasn’t been milking properly, do you have internet that can fix her?
2. Yes, I have a broadband connection. I use it on my Microwave. I like to check my mails while I’m heating left over food. Its connected via a mainframe computer, located at Bedi Grocery Stores… Are you calling from Bedi Stores? Kindly send over some desi ghee (cooking oil).
3. My pet snake has eaten the broadband connection. In fact, I’m speaking from his lard infested stomach. Oh wait! I see the laptop… Hello?
4. I am interested in getting a broadband connection. Kindly send someone over at 123 Thebigwhiterock Drive, Moon.
5. I’m in jail right now. Can you get me a connection here? The inmates are making me do all the work around here…
6. Are you trying to seduce me? I’m filing a complaint.
7. Will the internet and broadband cure haemorrhoids?
8. Gabbar cut my arms off in Sholay? Do you know how I can itch that far corner on my back?
9. Jao, pehle us aadmi ko dhoond kar layo, jisne mere maathe pe likh diya: Mera Baap Airtel Broadband Ka Bill Nahi Dega!! (First, go find the person who wrote on my forehead: My father will not pay for Airtel Broadband).
10. Woof… Rrrrhhh… Woof.. Woohhoooo…
If you have other ideas, please drop them in the comments below. Lets see what all we can get. As it is Airtel wants people to express themselves!! Cheers 😀
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