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Chapter Nine
Good, Bad & Ugly
Read Time: 6 minutes
Hello
“Ahhhhh, it’s time to relax,
And you know what that means,
A glass of wine, your favourite easy chair,
And of course reading this chapter in your email inbox.
So go on, indulge yourself,
That’s right, kick off your shoes, put your feet up,
Lean back and just enjoy the story.
After all, reading soothes even the savage beasts.”
—Intro, SMASH, Offspring (all time favourite album)
Welcome to Chapter Nine. We’re picking up where we left off two weeks ago. Why the disappearance, Paul? Where were you, bruh? Okay okay, we’ll deal with it, albeit, in a moment. I know I have some explaining to do.
Side note: I have updated T—S—F with open files from July. Yay!
Today I’m going to share my worst client experience. Thinking of it makes me recoil, grind my teeth — ensuing violent thoughts — and shudder in disbelief. Emotions best expressed in the song “Bad Habit” by Offspring (last reference to the album, promise).
As designers (and creative folk at large) we love to talk about bad clients. Those evil clients. Argh! The number of times I’ve found myself in a heady and downward spiralling debate, nursing a glass of scotch. So if you think this is one lengthy rant bitching and pissing about a shitty client—you’ve come to the right place.
Additionally, as freshmen, and like most amateur designers, I let one fucking misconception become my excuse: That, good clients are reserved and exclusive to “big” companies and “great” designers. Over time I learned this belief to be a false assumption. I subscribed to it out of fear— believing in not being the best and deserving.
Truth is, you’re never going to be perfect or the “best” at something. What we see as great is another man’s average. There’s always someone better than you to inspire and motivate you. Take note Michael Phelps, Joseph Schooling beat your ass.
Stop waiting. Just put yourself out there and do your best. That’s the secret. It’s all you can do anyways. Not trying isn’t an option. I assure you everyone has access to the same pool of clients/people. Don’t believe me? Let Michael Beirut, Partner at Pentagram tell you.
Having said that, we also often confuse a tough client with a bad client. Sometimes your best efforts are not enough. And that’s okay. Here’s what I mean in this context. Tough clients are actually good clients.
What you see and comprehend to be a bad client— who doesn’t get it or is too demanding — could just be a tough client you lack the experience or understanding to handle.
“A players hire A players; B players hire C players; and C players hire D players.” —Steve Jobs
No one person has all the skills or answers or experience to solve every client problem. Not knowing what to do is acceptable. But what you don’t know you can cover in leadership.
Being defensive, fearing being wrong in front of your peers and the client will constantly put you in ego battles. No one wins that conflict. Not even your ego. You’ll be surprised at how many clients will become your fans by being transparent and letting your guard down. Good clients will empathise and bad clients may attack you personally. A neat little filter for you.
Instead, focus on what’s the best way to solve the client problem. Think of the people (A players) you can bring on board. Come from a collaborative, proactive stance— leading a team. This will help build trust and a good client will see you as being on their side.
I know, in those situations, to admit it and become vulnerable and open with the client is scary. But, trust me, it is your best bet. Letting the client know the solution is beyond your expertise will reduce the stress and burden on your mind.
With all the free space you can focus on solving the real problem. Not having the skills and bandwidth to lead a group of people smarter than you to help resolve the issue is okay too. You can always ask for help and take counsel of senior people in your field. Don’t fear asking for help or looking dumb.
Tough clients or the ones challenging you to do your best are not bad clients. At the end of the day, clients need solutions to resolve business problems. And if you can orchestrate and deliver, there is no reason for them to go elsewhere.
A common example of this can be a graphic designer with five years of experience doing only print design required to deliver a responsive web design with code.
The designer could either try and do it himself or tap into his network and get a developer and web designer on board. The indisposable leader becomes evident quickly.
And now, to the main event of the evening. By the way. Those of you who made it down here… *slow clap.
If I ever write a handbook on toxic clients — this client (the one on the bottom half of this rant), without a doubt, will play the (Oscar-winning) protagonist. We got to hand it to the villains. I wouldn’t wish bad health or bad clients on anyone.
Plus, I promised to not drink and cry myself to sleep after writing this. Not rolling a joint either. Seriously, closure on this nasty episode has been long due. And by sharing this dark memory I intend to, once and for all, put the matter to rest.
Let my words, this chapter, be the racing fire truck — red and white flashing lights, blaring siren — a visible and audible warning signal from miles away.
Before we dive into the deep end lets quickly summarise and agree on what good clients look like. We all know those, don’t we? Those fucking rare unicorns. Drawing a contrast will help us better understand the two species.
Good clients are mindful and collaborative. They trust you and solicit your opinion even if, at times, it contradicts with their way of thinking. They value the work you do (design or whatever creative service you offer), your time and you. They are fair and open-minded and never shy from sharing credit for the work. They also demand your best work. They don’t micro-manage or breathe over your neck or play mouse jockey — “Make this a little bit smaller and move it to the left,” sound familiar?
My worst client experience began with these awful words.
“I’ll know when I see it,” the client said, sitting across the table, sipping on coffee, when I asked him what he wants. This was our first meeting. My partner, on hearing this person talk for two minutes, got up and left the room.
If I can go back in time and undo something, this would certainly be one thing on my list. On arrival, I’d ask this man to leave my office and never return again. Shoo! You fucking twat!
From obscure ideas, the conversation quickly turned to a show of the client’s vision and knowledge (only gassy claims I could tell). He went on to talk about proving ourselves and the exposure we’d get by working together (or being his servant, politely speaking).
At the time, out of the ten (leads) people that walked into our studio, eight of them carried this pseudo air. And, my partner and I, would take a call. Had we got salaries and bills around the corner? Those times, bringing in money was the only reason to say yes to whacked clients and jobs — ignoring all tell tale signs.
Remember, the “I will introduce you to my network and all my friends” category — the freeloaders — will never stop knocking at your door. Or the “You’re too expensive” or “How hard will it be to replicate this work,” who clearly don’t understand and see value in what you do.
That reminds me, good clients value branding, not just identity design but brand strategy — the why, what, when, how, where and so on. Putting lipstick on the gorilla, anyone?
Trade-offs had to be made. And, they sucked… …to be continued in Chapter Ten. (We’re, like, at 1400 plus words here dude.)
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Have an epic week!
Yours truly,
Paul Syng
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