{"id":1156,"date":"2016-02-26T23:16:16","date_gmt":"2016-02-26T23:16:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/?p=1156"},"modified":"2022-06-25T07:43:57","modified_gmt":"2022-06-25T11:43:57","slug":"the-indian-platter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/the-indian-platter\/","title":{"rendered":"The Indian Platter"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"wave\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve just knocked the socks of the hottest looking female on the planet for the 100th time. We lay there, arms crossed, looking into each other\u2019s eye with content. But, only I\u2019m not. I\u2019d be a douche if I said something. Truth is, I got bored. Rather quickly. Too quick for even my own good.<\/p>\n

Looking for answers, I pick Google\u2019s brain. Endless columns and blogs later, which by the way are in surprising abundance, ramble the same sad fart-induced ideas. Put ice in her foxy fondle, cherry her on top, lick the nutty nipples, chocolate sauce your turtle and let her tongue polish it shiny clean and so on. You get the drill right?<\/p>\n

Yawn! Frankly, these just don\u2019t cut it for me. Done. Done. And, done.<\/p>\n

I think its time we set aside continental food and gave the Indian recipe\u2019s a chance. I know how this may sound because I can see you\u2019re brain has already gone in overdrive. Imagining daal, butter chicken, naan (bread), dosa, paav-bhaji, imli-ki-chatni, gulaab jamun and mind-blowing-bed-breaking-activities just don\u2019t go hand in hand. Or, do they.<\/p>\n

To be honest, the very thought originated, one late evening, by watching a woman swallow a whole \u201cPAAN\u201d post quaffing down a bottle of russian vodka. Till that very moment, I could\u2019ve never put two and two together. Her lips, those drunk-dreamy-blue eyes and back-revealing saree ensemble had my blood rushing for a standing ovation.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d say, the next time you\u2019re woman goes under the sink to clean the pipes, drop in the chatni or chaashni (used to sweeten gulab jamun). Top her up with idli-sambhar or if she\u2019s from the North, butter chicken curry and use naans to wipe her clean.<\/p>\n

The creative bunch can also introduce achaar, golas (ice candy), bhel-puri as part of the overall seduction game. Don\u2019t be a weiner, try the tikka and see her soften-up like a tender malai-kofta.<\/p>\n

Published originally on GQ<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve just knocked the socks of the hottest looking female on the planet for the 100th time. We lay there, arms crossed, looking into each other\u2019s eye with content. But, only I\u2019m not. I\u2019d be a douche if I said something. Truth is, I got bored. Rather quickly. Too quick for even my own good. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[61,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gq","category-syng"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1156"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1600,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156\/revisions\/1600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}