{"id":1103,"date":"2016-02-26T19:20:52","date_gmt":"2016-02-26T19:20:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/?p=1103"},"modified":"2022-06-25T07:43:58","modified_gmt":"2022-06-25T11:43:58","slug":"girls-to-avoid-vol-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/girls-to-avoid-vol-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Girls To Avoid Vol 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Senior<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure all the women out there, who\u2019ve read the first<\/a> of this 2-part series, will brandish me as the creep-who-generalizes-women in one egotistical-male-chauvinist induced confab. I couldn\u2019t agree more. In fact, I\u2019d say there\u2019s truth down that road \u2013 where men are spectators to women playing dodge ball with their \u2013ahem, cough *clearing throat- sack. In my defence, this literary trek levels the playing field for my brothers.<\/p>\n

Foxy FOB<\/strong><\/em>
\nThe Fresh-Of-The-Boat girl is a city slicker and sucker for designer label replicas. Although, her days in foreign were premature, her accent drivels your mind with vocabulary that blends English and Hindi in one extra large peanut-butter Oreo ice cream shake \u2013 a gulping feat for many. In the sartorial department, she\u2019s a cross between Govinda and Lady Gaga – a pretty picture indeed, if you\u2019re a cross dresser working at Barney\u2019s Steak House. Although she\u2019s an eyesore, you\u2019d be surprised with her devil-may-care attitude and assertiveness. A piece of advice, keep your ears open and pivot quickly.<\/p>\n

Bollywood Bebe<\/strong><\/em>
\nFrom a wardrobe that\u2019s right of Kareena\u2019s latest movie to pelvic thrusts, this girl\u2019s got Bollywood covered better than Malika Arora\u2019s legs. Oh, by the way, don\u2019t tell her I said that. You\u2019ll bump into this dame outside Salman\u2019s bungalow in Bandra or at PVR, first day first show of (put name of Bollywood movie here). Her father will have a striking resemblance to Simran\u2019s dad from DDLJ. And, don\u2019t act surprised if she slips \u201cI\u2019m a bad girl, (put name of Bollywood actor)!\u201d in bed. Ideally, this crescendo should end in a typical song and dance sequence, in a cotton field, with the both of you running apart in slow motion.<\/p>\n

Virgin Vixen<\/strong><\/em>
\nWipe that grin of your face, you\u2019re no longer in school – and by being one you\u2019re not going places. By and large, the Virgin is a mercenary of the almighty and society. Her favourite quote \u201cmujhe bhagwan ke liye chod do\u201d (please leave me for god). Join her and become Celibate Princess of No-Action Ville, leading an army of desperate nuns and fat chicks. You can kiss those fantasies goodbye \u2013 especially the one where you sport a birthday suit.<\/p>\n

Facebook Fairy<\/strong><\/em>
\nAs the name suggests, this is your gossipmonger, the mother of social networks i.e. faster than your Facebook status update. Even though women – by nature – are talkative beings (which is cute in a way), this girl is going to put you in an open source market \u2013 everyone will know your \u201cpinky-swear\u201d secrets. Don\u2019t bother looking for Privacy setting on this Facebook page because even Zuckerberg doesn\u2019t know where they are.<\/p>\n

Published originally on GQ<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m sure all the women out there, who\u2019ve read the first of this 2-part series, will brandish me as the creep-who-generalizes-women in one egotistical-male-chauvinist induced confab. I couldn\u2019t agree more. In fact, I\u2019d say there\u2019s truth down that road \u2013 where men are spectators to women playing dodge ball with their \u2013ahem, cough *clearing throat- […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[61,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gq","category-syng"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1103"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1615,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1103\/revisions\/1615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}