{"id":1061,"date":"2014-09-11T18:02:05","date_gmt":"2014-09-11T22:02:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cockybox.com\/?p=1061"},"modified":"2016-02-28T15:03:58","modified_gmt":"2016-02-28T15:03:58","slug":"guy-finds-girlfriend-on-backpage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/guy-finds-girlfriend-on-backpage\/","title":{"rendered":"Guy finds girlfriend’s Backpage post"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Senior<\/a><\/p>\n

Rested my laptop, walked out of Starbucks on the corner of Fifth Ave & 49th Street and to my shock\/surprise, in the middle of the chaos that is Manhattan -at 6pm- a hot girl (possible part-time model) jumps out of an Uber cab and bolts for the next one.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seconds later, as the camera pans back to the street, out comes a brownish guy, from the same vehicle. He\u2019s chasing that girl. From the looks of it, his body language tied to a foul mouth, you\u2019d assume they\u2019re fighting over his tiny penis. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t ask me how the tiny penis got into all this. Stay with me, it gets better. I\u2019m back onto my iPhone 5s (Gold) and searching for the closest Fedex Office, as I need to send a pair of shoes to a close friend back home. <\/span><\/p>\n

Alright, I don\u2019t know how but somehow the generic street noise numbs and I begin to hear the couple yelling foul and, my curious bitch instincts act up, strategically placing me yards away from the aforesaid relationship debacle. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m enjoying the yelling and public scene. It\u2019s net neutrality free drama. Here\u2019s where the conversation takes a whole new dimension. <\/span><\/p>\n

The guy yells out, \u201cI know about your back page listing BITCH!!!\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

*Gulp. A shiver runs down my rectum. <\/span><\/p>\n

For those who\u2019re naive and innocent unless proven in court, Backpage is where men go to find whores. Most of these girls are foreigners trying to make it into NYC by soliciting their genitals for rent money. Or in other words, these are your conventional strippers\/prostitutes gone tech savvy. They are currently developing an app for the Apple watch- abled to send vibrations directly to your cock (fuck the cute hearts). <\/span><\/p>\n

I can only imagine. Wait. Actually. I can\u2019t imagine what\u2019s going on in this guy\u2019s head on finding the love of his life (who probably slept with him once- minus the head or anal) is fucking Manhattan for cash.<\/span><\/p>\n

*Here\u2019s a billion dollar idea. Feel free to develop it and send me equity. Paypal\/Uber for whores. Fuck you if it exists.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing. NYC is a bit crazy like that. Men and women are casually dating 3-4 people at a time. Imagine the STDs going around. Phew! Phew!<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not taking sides here but that dude got fucked over. The moral of the story. If you think you\u2019re getting serious over a chick, search for the brunette with a dimple on her lower abdomen on Backpage. <\/span><\/p>\n

By the way, shipping a pair of shoes through Fedex is three times the cost of the merchandise. Fuck, right?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rested my laptop, walked out of Starbucks on the corner of Fifth Ave & 49th Street and to my shock\/surprise, in the middle of the chaos that is Manhattan -at 6pm- a hot girl (possible part-time model) jumps out of an Uber cab and bolts for the next one. Seconds later, as the camera pans […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-syng"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1061"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1061\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1172,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1061\/revisions\/1172"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulsyng.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}