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Buyer Experience Design SYNG

Selling is not helping. Helping is selling.

Though its origin remains a mystery, this nugget of wisdom is the crux of our discourse today. But first, a bit of context. During my tenure at a creative agency, my primary role was to bring in new business and strategize. The question that often arose was, “How do you land such big accounts?” Well, let’s unravel that mystery.

The Great Divide: Doing the Work vs. Selling the Work

There’s a common misconception that talent and the ability to do the work is all it takes. But here’s a secret, the secret sauce that has been the cornerstone of my business strategy for years. It’s not about my skillset, the hard sell, pushy tactics, or the relentless pursuit of a signed contract. Instead, it’s about something far more potent yet often overlooked: curiosity.

Yes, you heard it right, curiosity. But before you scoff at the simplicity of it, let’s delve into why curiosity is the secret ingredient to successful early conversations with prospective clients.

The Cardinal Sin of Selling: Being Self-Serving

In the initial stages of client interaction, we often fall into the trap of being self-serving. We’re so eager to sell our product or service that we forget to listen. We talk more than we should, push our agenda, and truly miss the opportunity to understand our client’s needs. We’re so focused on selling that we forget to help.

But here’s the twist: selling is not helping. Helping is selling. Take a moment to let that sink in.

The Power of Curiosity: A Page from Malcolm Gladwell’s Book

In his infinite wisdom, Malcolm Gladwell often talks about the power of curiosity. He suggests that curiosity leads to understanding, and understanding leads to empathy. And empathy, my friends, is the key to helping. It also builds trust and gives your client reassurance — subtext they are not verbalizing.

The best salespeople do precisely that. They aren’t the ones who can talk the fastest or pitch the hardest. They’re the ones who can listen the best — including the conversation subtext. They’re the ones who are genuinely curious about their clients. They’re the ones who understand that selling isn’t about pushing a product; it’s about solving a problem. And to solve a problem, you first need to understand it.

The Shift from Selling to Helping: Insights from “The Coaching Habit”

“But how do I do that? How do I shift from selling to helping?” I hear you ask. To answer that, let’s borrow some wisdom from Michael Bungay Stanier’s book “The Coaching Habit.” Stanier suggests that the key to effective coaching (or selling, in our case) is to stay curious a little longer and rush to advice-giving a little slower. He suggests asking questions like, “What’s the real challenge here for you?” and “What do you want?” These questions not only show that you’re genuinely interested in helping, but they also encourage the client to open up and share more about their needs and goals.

The Art of Listening: Cultivating Curiosity

When we approach a conversation with genuine curiosity, we shift our focus from selling to understanding. We ask questions, listen, and learn about our client’s needs, challenges, and goals. This understanding allows us to offer solutions that truly help our clients rather than pushing a product or service that may not be the right fit.

And here’s the beautiful part: when we help, we sell. When we provide a solution that truly meets our client’s needs, the sale naturally follows. Here’s how to cultivate this curiosity and shift your focus from selling to helping.

1. Listen more than you talk 

This might sound simple, but it’s more complicated than you think. It requires you to put your agenda aside and focus on your client.

2. Ask open-ended questions 

These questions invite conversation and encourage our clients to share their thoughts and feelings.

Examples:

  • Can you tell me more about the challenges you’re currently facing in your business?
  • What are your long-term goals for your company, and how do you plan to achieve them?
  • What do you think is the most important factor in choosing a product or service in your industry?
  • How have your needs or expectations changed over the past year?
  • What would an ideal solution look like for you and your team?

3. Be genuinely interested in your client

This isn’t about pretending to care; it’s about genuinely wanting to understand and help our clients. Don’t just nod along. Be genuinely interested. 

So, the next time you find yourself in an early conversation with a prospective client, remember the power of curiosity. Remember that selling is not helping, but helping is selling. And most importantly, remember to listen, ask, and care.

And now, in the spirit of Neil French, I’ll leave you with this: “The best salespeople are not those who talk the most, but those who listen the most.” So, let’s all strive to be the best listeners we can be.

Remember, curiosity didn’t kill the cat; it made the sale.

So, go ahead, be that inquisitive person. It’s not just approved. It’s encouraged. After all, curiosity is not just about being nosy; it’s about being interested, engaged, and, most importantly, helpful. 

Now, shoo! 

By Paul Syng

Paul Syng is a multi-disciplinary designer based in Toronto. He focuses on a problem-seeking, systems thinking approach that can take any form or function.